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약도_성산아트홀(경남 창원)


경남 창원에 위치한 훌륭한 공연/전시장인 성산아트홀의 약도입니다.
아래를 참고하시고 유익한 문화생활이 되시길 바랍니다.

* 광역권에서 오시는길
사용자 삽입 이미지
※교통안내(승용차기준) : 남해고속도로 동마산IC → 소계광장(우회전) → 창원병원사거리(좌회전) → 시청사거리(직진) → 도착

* 시내권에서 오시는길
사용자 삽입 이미지
※명곡광장 방면 : 명곡광장 → 시청사거리(좌회전)① → 창원시청 → 성산아트홀 주차장
※도청 방면 : 도청 → KBS사거리 한블럭 지남(우회전)③ → 성산아트홀 주차장
※김해(장유) 방면 : 창원터널 → 장미공원사거리(우회전) → 창원광장② → 창원시청 → 성산아트홀 주차장
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    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    失火啦! 某天正在实验室作实验时…。 猛然一抬头…。奇怪??窗外未何一直有浓
    烟冒出?学长一声哇!糟糕,立刻夺门 而出…。过了一会儿,学长一脸无奈的从外头
    回来…。我们著急的问:发生啥事了 吗?结果,学长面无表情的回答:有人在发动车
    子!!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    区队长来自河北农村,十分纯朴。在 军校,我们的一切言行都要遵从各项条令规定。
    按规定,中队备有一个本子,专门记 录来队的非本队人员。 一天,有一个老百姓来
    找我们区队长。于是,值班员就工整地记下: x月x日,一百姓来找二区队长…。
    下午,当全中队在门外等待集外出时,一个球系的同学偶然拿起那个本子念道: x月
    x日,一百女生来找二区队长…。 我们区队长的嘴有足足三分钟没合上。而我们自然
    也…。

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    日行一善

    老师问两位学生:「你们今天有没有日行一善啊?」
    两位学生齐声答到:「有啊!」
    老师问:「做了什么事?」
    学生:「我们扶一位老太太过马路。」
    老师:「嗯,很好,但是扶一位老太太过马路,为什么要两个人呢?」
    学生:「因为那位老太太本来不想过马路的。」

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    跳伞

    空中跳伞造型学校的教员在上完第一节课后,询问学员是否有什么问题。“我们每跳
    一次要交多少钱?”一学员问,“10$!”另一学员显得有点紧张,站起来问:
    “如果在跳伞时打不开降落伞怎么办?”“不要担心,如果打不开降落伞我们会把钱
    退给你。”教员答道。

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    私有化

    今天中午,我朋友坐在我旁边儿复习“社建”,忽然指着一页问我,中国如果搞私有
    化,必将成为资本主义大国是什么意思.我们琢磨了一会儿不得要领.只好往下看.
    喔!原来下一页的开头是“的附庸”。

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    发动摩托车?!

    有次上英语课,外面传来阵阵发动摩托车的声音。这声音持续了很久,吵得人不得安
    稳。这时候,老师发现了大家的烦躁,摇头说,“中国的摩托车呀……。唉!”下课
    了,我们才发现,是工人在伐木!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    最长和最短

    一位老师问他的学生:“你们认为什么最长,什么最短?”
    一位学生立即回答“一堂课的最后几分钟最长,一场考试的最后几分钟最短。”

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    ___
    都说美国人数学差,来了以后才有亲身体会。我的一个朋友是数学系的一个ta,他
    教precalculus,(我们学校是美国一所理工科很好的学校),在他改的
    考卷中,就闹了不少笑话:
    1。when n=infinity,sinx/ n=6。想得出为什么吗?有人
    将sinx中的n与分母中的n对消,得到six!!!
    2。课上举过这样一个例子:when n=infinity,lim(n/ 8)
    =infinity(8横过来),然后在考试中有这样一个题:when n=
    infinity,lim(n/5)=?有好几人的答案竟然是将5横过来!!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    小明在一篇题目为:参观动物园的作文上写著:动物园之所以叫做动物园,是因为园
    子里都是动物。动物们都被关在围栏里,而栏前往往都只有散落的几个人在那儿驻
    足。
    猩猩区前总是有较多的人在那儿围观,因为人们在那儿较有归属感……

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    有一群小学生到博物馆参观,小伟明在四处参观後觉得很累便坐在一张椅子上。老师
    从博物馆的解说员身後惊讶地看见了,幸好解说员尚未看到。老师生气地小声的对伟
    明说:快起来!你疯啦?那是拿破仑的椅子啊!啊,老师,可是我的脚实在好酸喔!
    如果他来了,我马上就起来,让位给他!伟明说道。

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    老师问学生道:要怎麽解释‘与人分担痛苦,会使痛苦减半’呢?
    小伦回答说:如果我爸爸打我,我就随即揍我弟弟!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    德辉写完一百遍的‘我既懒惰又顽皮’後,便带著他的罚写作业到爸爸面前,说道:
    老师说:你要在上面签名

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    每个学期开始的时候,布告版上总贴有出售旧教科书的告白。其中一张写著:「『心
    理学入门』。五十元。从未用过。」署名旁又写著:「必须卖出。」
    第二天,那张告白上加了一张条子:「价钱公道。可是你真的从来没有用过?」签名
    是「可能的买主」。告白下面,不同的字迹写道:「我可以保证!」签名人「评阅他
    的试卷的教授」。

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    社会史讨论课上,教授向我们解释社会的审美标准是如何随时代而改变的。「例如
    ,」
    他说,「一九二一年当选的美国小姐,身高一米五五,体重四十九公斤,三围七十六
    (厘米)、六十四、八十一。你们认为如果她今天参加选美,机会如何?」全班沉默
    了片刻,然後有个学生答道:「不怎麽好。」「为什麽?」教授问他。「至少,」他
    指出,「她年纪会太老了。」

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    大学毕业典礼上,有个项目是毕业生结队越过湖上的一座桥。与有荣焉的父母和亲友
    都抢著拍照或录影,以补捉这个纪念性的镜头。在一次这样的毕业典礼上,一位摄影
    记者在越桥仪式即将开始时,刚好挡住了一位家长早已选好的摄影位置。「请你让开
    点好吗?我花了三万美元才等到机会拍摄这个镜头的,」那位家长说。

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    下雨天,一个同学问我弟弟有没有看见任何一个和他同路的女生,好让他能和她共用
    一把伞。弟弟问他为什麽,同学打开一把颜色□丽的印花雨伞说:「那样便没有人会
    以为这把伞是我的!」

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    胖猪

    有一个顽皮的男生给同班的一位女生取外号叫胖猪,该女生哭着告到老师那里,老师
    答应对该男生进行批评教育。第二天上课,老师在班上讲话:我们班里有位同学太没
    有礼貌了,随便给别的同学起外号,总不能人家象啥就叫啥吧。

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    以往学校开运动会,
    总要在比赛期间念一些顺口溜以活跃气氛。比如百米跑道不算长,运动员儿意气扬等
    等。一次,听到有顺口溜如下:
    小小标枪尖又尖,
    拿在手里掂一掂。
    哧的一声飞出去,
    只看见弯弯的月儿蓝蓝的天…

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    敬礼

    嘿!
    有过敬错礼的经验吗…。
    有吧…
    例如…向…
    同学、学弟、阿兵……等等
    一定多不胜数吧…。
    但是我看过最扯的是向………。邮差
    有一次我和同学一起从餐厅回到连上时
    在我身旁的同学因为过於……
    所以就对朝著我们而来的邮差
    致上了最崇高的敬意
    说了声……。长官好…。
    顿时同学们都笑翻了
    而且从後面传来了一声
    学弟…。耍宝呀!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    自我安慰

    听说:

    作业不一定会交
    交了又不一定是自己写的
    写了又不一定会
    会了又不一定会考
    考了又不一定会过
    过了又不一定能毕业
    毕了业又不一定找的到工作
    找了工作又不一定找的到老婆
    娶了老婆又不一定会生孩子
    生了孩子又不一定是自己的
    天啊!交作业干嘛啊!!
    那我不交作业了

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    校园笑话(一)

    教官:为什么你翻墙跷课迅速又频繁?
    阿呆:没有办法,天赋异禀。
    教官:不过你以后不必再爬墙了。
    阿呆:真的?栅栏拆了吗?
    教官:不,你被退学了,可以走大门了!

    校园笑话(二)

    校园中,诚实运动大为提倡。
    甲生:捡到钱,怎么奖励?
    乙生:拾金不昧,嘉奖一次。
    甲生:那如果是捡到a片,漫画呢?
    乙生:教官会相信是你捡到的吗?
    交给我就好。

    校园笑话(三)

    老师说:今天天气很好,我们应该去踏青。

    学生说:老师你是指去践踏穿青色衣服的女生吗?

    校园笑话(四)

    上课时,某同学在看漫画。
    老师发现了便问:你在干什么?
    「我在找东西。」
    「找什么?」
    「找,找……。」
    邻座的同学回答说:找藉口。

    校园笑话(五)

    甲生:你知道阿贤为什么坚持要
    我介绍北x女的同学给他吗?

    乙生:因为他属『兔』。

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    历史老师:为什么早退?
    八力:我有一个重要的约会。
    历史老师:历史重要还是女友重要?
    八力:如果我再迟到,她就要成为历史了!!!
    历史老师:@##$%%^

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    色狼

    在台南习惯半夜去买消夜,有一次半夜一点多,去胜利路买吃的, http://www.nbabigstore.com/ Dirk Nowitzki,骑单车回住处途
    中,
    有个骑机车的怪男子跟了上来,对我说:
    ″小姐,我请你吃消夜好吗?″(我手上的不是吃的呀?)我笑而不答。
    ″小姐,别这样,交个朋友嘛!″(我好害怕哟!)
    ″小姐,我好像认识你哟?你是企管系的吗?″(哇咧~~~)
    就这样被跟到我住处门口,赶快叫其他人来看――――瞎了眼的色狼!
    他还不知道我是男的呀?? 唉~为他默哀三秒钟~~~

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    蚂蚁怎么看得到?

    话说…台风天过境的夏日。
    无意间寝室顿时驻扎许多避难的蚂蚁…………。

    学姊:学妹好可怕!好可怕!我的砂糖都生蚂蚁了…
    学妹:那你把它封紧一点咩

    隔天…。
    学姊:学妹!好可怕!好可怕!蚂蚁好厉害!
    昨天的砂糖我把它放到柜子上
    那么高!蚂蚁怎么看的到……………。
    学妹:……………

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    腰痛的原因

    同学因为腰痛去看医生
    照了x光片后医生说:
    这边,是你的肝,没有硬化…。
    这边,是你的胃,没有问题…。
    这边,是你的肾,没有结石…。
    这边,是你的大便,没大乾净所以腰会痛…。

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    那都不准去

    有一个老师,他是一个非常虔诚的佛教徒
    有一次他跟小朋友说天堂怎么好
    问小朋友说想不想去天堂玩
    结果只有一位小朋友没有举手
    接著又跟小朋友说地狱怎么可怕
    又问要去地狱的举手
    还是那一位小朋友没举手
    于是老师觉得很奇怪…。怎么天堂不去,地狱也不去
    就叫这位小朋友说:为何天堂不去,地狱也不去呢
    小朋友说:妈妈说放学后,要马上回家,那都不准去……

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    捐血

    校园捐血活动中…。
    学生:我要响应捐血活动。
    护士:对不起,感冒的人不能捐血!
    学生:俗话说[一滴精。十滴血],那我可不可以捐替代品?
    护士:~!@#$%^&*

    ps:一般捐血最少是250cc,那该生不就得捐25cc的量了吗?哇塞!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    到底在打哪个洞?

    今天的游泳课老师改上木球,
    我们班的aces同学
    正在瞄准著球门准备一杆进洞
    不料大槌一挥………。
    球竟然往隔壁蹲著讲话眉眉的屁股里钻
    老师:你在打哪一个洞?
    aces:!@#$@#%%$^
    我:………。(已经笑死啦!!)

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    上课听来的笑话

    上公路工程这门课时,教授说公路上如有漆停时,一般人都会闯过去,他也不例外。
    他接著又说留学生在国外时,如果地上有漆stoping,通常都会很遵守规则而
    停车。这时小武发出惊人之语,因为他不晓得路面上是什么字,他停车是为了按翻译
    机,所以才停的啊。

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    醒世惕言

    有一回读参考书,念得昏昏欲睡,不经心瞄到书上两句话∶
    生时何必久睡
    死後自会长眠
    立刻惊醒……

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    懂不懂「事」?

    今天在姑姑家听到了一个有点好笑的笑话,在这儿与大家分享

    一天,姑姑对她班上的小朋友说(她是幼稚园老师):
    「你们一定要懂事喔!」
    忽然有一个小朋友大声的说:「老师,我还懂五呢!」

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    罗马名言

    大一:条条大路通罗马
    平平坦坦大学路

    大二:罗马不是一天造成的
    大学不是四年念完的

    大四:罗马已经建好
    大学还没念完

    大n:罗马已倒塌
    大学还在念

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    考试篇

    老师说:平时考是点心,百吃不厌;
    段考是正餐,定时定量;
    联考是满汉全席,一次就够,
    你们为什麽不好好用功呢???????
    学生说:报告老师,我们正在减肥!!!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    子在川上曰:

    有一个老师要学生翻译论语中的一段
    子在川上曰:逝者如斯夫,不分昼夜!
    结果天才学生发挥出他累积十几年至高无上的国文水准说道:
    子在床上曰:睡得很舒服,不写作业!
    老师一听,叹为观止,摸摸学生的头说:
    汝百年之才也!吾悻而教之
    (你真是一百年才出现一次的蠢材,我越教你越不爽)

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    消防车

    一天下午…下著大雨…我和同学在中华路。
    结果有三四辆消防车经过…就听到旁边一群十七八岁的年轻人的对话。
    甲:雨下那麽大。怎麽可能有火灾。消防车出来干嘛??
    乙:笨!你就不懂了…它是出来装水的!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    球队教练

    这是我教授跟我们说,他以前在美国教书,有一些球队学生从没念过书,但是大学也
    是要毕业,之後就可以进入职篮打nba,退休後常常就回到母校当球队教练。
    有一位学生(姑且叫乔丹)要毕业了,但是微积分怎样都过不了这样不能毕业打nb
    a啊!於是就请他的教练,也是学校球队的教练来帮忙求情。
    教练∶「教授,请你一定要让乔丹过啊nba等著他很久了!」
    教授∶「好吧!既然教练都来帮忙求情了,就给你最後一次机会」
    「一加一等於多少?」
    乔丹马上不思考地回答∶「二」
    教练∶「教授,请再给他一次机会吧!」

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    上课偷看漫画!!

    每个人都有上课偷看课外书的经验。尤其是上课看漫画书。
    话说高中时代,最喜欢的莫过於上课看漫画,尤其是上一些会使人昏昏欲睡的课。记
    得有一次,同学依样在上课时看新出的漫画书。桌上摆著课本,抽屉�放著漫画。一
    页一页翻著细细品味。慢慢的,老师走到他身旁说∶『这位同学,你可以不用放在桌
    下了。因为你的抽屉前的那一块板子已经不见了。』。当时全班哄堂大笑。

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    小汤的母亲疼子心切,在送小汤上小学的第一天就向小汤的老师要求不能惩罚小汤。
    老师警告她,这样子对小孩子没帮助,只会宠坏了他。她想了一会儿後,说:「好
    吧,
    如果小汤做错了什麽事,就惩罚他邻座的孩子吓吓他好了。」

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    成语

    某师出了一道「形容一个人其貌不扬」的成语。
    在阅卷时。有许多稀奇古怪的答案:「丑陋无比」「牛头马面」「尖嘴猴腮」「科学
    怪人」…没有人答对。而改到最後一张时。上面竟写著…「像您一样」

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    不公平…

    老师罚峤个不守规矩的孩子在放学後留下来。把自己的名字写一百遍。一个小孩写完
    回家了。另一个仍在写著。
    老师问:「怎麽回事!」
    那孩子哭著说:「太不公平啦!他的名字叫丁一。好写的很。而我却叫魏鑫龙。光是
    那个该的『鑫』。就有二十四画呢!!~」

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    相对论

    有一天小明跑进去教室时,随後,又站起来,接著就又离开教室,正巧…。老师回头
    看到小明背背影……老师就开始大骂……。说…现在的人越来越不知道读书的好处…
    …老师接著说…。好…他不上我的课…。我当掉他……老师问班长说:刚才的那个学
    生叫什麽名字…。班长说…。他是隔壁班的…。刚刚走错教室了……

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    兄弟我…

    国父说:五权宪法乃兄弟我所独创,………。
    某次考三民主义时…。题目问:五权宪法是()所独创。某生回答(兄弟我)…

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    言中之意

    抹日教室中阿人考试不及格。
    老师在训话:看看别人想想自己。
    阿人灵机一动便说:喔…我知到了。
    看看别人的答案在想想自己的嘛。……

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    公民也不行呀!

    父亲看了儿子的成积单发现有好几科不及格
    父∶你的外国地理也不行呀
    儿∶因为我没去过外国嘛!
    父∶你的历史也不行呀
    儿∶我生的太迟了,以前的事大多不知道呀。
    父∶怎麽公民也不及格呢?
    儿∶我未成年,根本不算是公民嘛!!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    公车趣闻

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  • Giants Manning Game Jersey 2013.02.27 23:59

    Grand Valley State, where he won two national titles, to Central Michigan, where he won a MAC championship, to the University of Cincinnati, where he led a team to a 12-0 record, to, now, Notre Dame, where in his third season he took the once moribund Irish to the national title game, there's an obvious constant.

    Brian Kelly has always been successful. And Brian Kelly has always been a climber.

    That the NFL was on the horizon should surprise no one. Until word broke Wednesday with ESPN saying Kelly has met with the Philadelphia Eagles and there is mutual interest, the horizon still seemed off in the distance.
    Brian Kelly has reportedly interviewed with the Philadelphia Eagles. (USA Today)
    The interview, according to the NFL Network, took place Tuesday, just hours after the Irish's 42-14 BCS title game loss to Alabama, a disappointment that only slightly diminished a dream season. Kelly is now said to be out of the country for a brief vacation, an entirely separate bizarre turn. Notre Dame declined to comment on the reports.

    For Philadelphia, there is risk all over this one. Kelly doesn't have a single day of NFL experience, either as a player or a coach. At the same time there's a simple and powerful angle to sell the fan base. Kelly wins. Everywhere. And he did it at programs that either hadn't ever achieved such success, or in the case of Notre Dame, not seen it for years.



    A Philly fan base desperate for success after the slide under Andy Reid might buy into that. And while he's known as an offensive coach, a developer of talent and a fine motivator, this past season he won with defense in South Bend, a desperate need for the Eagles. Moreover, he's known as a terrific in-game manager, with solid adjustments. There's no need to bring up Reid's reputation on that.

    Still, this would be a leap of faith. Kelly played ball at little Assumption College in Massachusetts, and after a brief stint in political organization he worked his way up slowly through the college coaching ranks. His time at even the highest level of college football is limited – three years at ND and three years at UC, if you consider the Big East that.

    [Related: Manti Te'o's draft stock in doubt after tough BCS title game ]

    At 51 he would arrive as a newcomer to the league, yet lacking the reputation as an offensive savant like Oregon's Chip Kelly, whom the Eagles, among others, also pursued.

    This would be, for Philly, a gamble.

    It would be, for Brian Kelly, a stunning departure also.


    Again, only the most devout Irish fan could believe that Kelly was going to stay forever in South Bend. In truth, the national demands of the job, from recruiting to alumni responsibilities, tend to wear everyone out. Lou Holtz, the last ND coach who wasn't asked to leave, said he was so exhausted after 11 seasons he thought he was too tired to coach anymore. After a brief rest, he realized he was just too tired to coach Notre Dame, so he took the South Carolina job.

    [Related: Robert Griffin III, other NFL players likely fearful of 'Jay Cutler' treatment]

    Kelly is only in his third season, one in which the Irish arrived in national contention ahead of schedule. This would seem to be the time for Kelly to enjoy the fruits of his labor, to ride the momentum and see exactly what this program can do. He's always been pushing for the next job. Now here was a job he could dig in and see what was possible.

    No, the blowout loss to 'Bama wasn't fun, but no one thought the Irish would get to the title game this year, and no one thinks it's their last crack. The Irish, as long as Kelly was around, were back.


    The Eagles are searching for a replacement for head coach Andy Reid. (AP) He returns a star-studded team, including most of the vaunted defensive line, freshman quarterback Everett Golson and plenty of skill players. Manti Te'o has graduated, but there is plenty of young talent there.

    And more is coming. Kelly is sitting on the current No. 1 ranked recruiting class according to rivals.com, a group flush with the kind of athletes from across the country that Notre Dame knows it needs if it wants to come back and beat an Alabama some day.

    "Winning, " Kelly said earlier this year, "sure does help. "

    Yet just days after brushing aside, but not burying, interest in the NFL, he's reportedly looking at the opportunity to take on another enormous challenge, at the game's highest level.

    For Notre Dame this is a gut-punch. The Irish have suffered through nearly two decades of poor to average coaches while a perception was built that the school could never again be nationally relevant due to strict academics, location, a lack of conference affiliation and a host of other items.

    Then when Notre Dame finally gets a capable coach who quickly proves none of that is true, who restores a measure of glory and has the program primed for even more, it might lose him?

    That quickly? And to the Eagles?

    You could argue this is a classic power play to use NFL interest – real or rumored – into a lucrative contract extension. Notre Dame is the king of those sucker jobs, having once handed Charlie Weis a ten-year deal just because gossip spread that an NFL team might want to talk to him at the end of the season.


    [Yahoo! Sports Radio: Texans' Owen Daniels on rematch in New England]

    The thing is that Kelly was already going to get paid. He was already in the perfect position. He restored Notre Dame, bringing joy to one of the wealthiest alumni bases in major college football. He'd earned his raise.

    No, the interest in the NFL is real. It's always been real, the ultimate spot for an upwardly mobile coach.

    Brian Kelly has always won. Brian Kelly has always climbed.

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  • Andrew Luck Blue Jersey 2013.02.27 23:59

    For the second year in a row, Chip Kelly flirted with becoming an NFL head coach, but is returning to Oregon.

    According to ESPN’s Adam Schefter, Kelly considered becoming the Eagles’ next head coach, but decided to return to Oregon.

    On Friday, NFL.com reported that Kelly was close to becoming the Browns’ next coach. Kelly then reportedly had a long interview with the Eagles on Saturday. He also met with the Bills.

    On Sunday, the Browns “walked away” from Kelly because they weren’t certain he was 100 percent committed to leaving Oregon, according to Mary Kay Cabot of the Cleveland Plain Dealer.

    Kelly is 46-7 as Oregon’s coach, http://www.chibearsshop.com/ Cutler Game Nike Jersey, including a Fiesta Bowl win last Thursday. Last year, Kelly almost became the Buccaneers’ head coach before deciding to stay in the college ranks.

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